Look good, feel good and be good.
Every woman’s motto.
After my baby was born, life came to a standstill. Correction: MY life came to a standstill. My baby’s life has been …well, you know what babies do - drink milk, burp, and play, soil self, sleep, and on and on. My husband’s life has been … the usual. Read newspaper, go to work, get back home, relax in front of TV, chat on phone (or in person) with friend, and drop down to bed! But, my life?
My life is all about other people. Agreed - it is my baby I am tending to, and my husband I see off to work, but it is still other people, right? What about me?
My wake-up-call is a “get me coffee” grunt or a “waaaah” or a phone / doorbell ring. After that, its rush hour - sorry, rush hours – plural. Get baby milk, get you-know-who coffee, get breakfast organized, run after maid / baby / husband…so on and so forth. By the time baby settles down for a nap (or basically, when the house is at rest), I am ready …for nothing.
That’s just it. I am ready for nothing except more of the domestic stuff. Earlier, when I was working, in the years of B.B. (Before Baby) so to speak, life was different. However, having quit the job to look after family interests, which, by the way is no mean task, I find that being a “home-maker” is even more challenging than my air-conditioned, sit-on-my-backside-8-hours job! Suddenly, I am home – dealing with everything that and everyone who - comes my way. At least when I was working, I had my work, my job. What is in it for me now? (Yes, sure, I am with you on that can’t-beat-feeling of being a mommy!)
The “Wow-I-became-a-mom”-high notwithstanding, the feeling of nothing to do for the self is quite unnerving once you have stopped to think about it. I always need to have a purpose otherwise, depression or frustration rears it ugly head too often! Certainly if you do some serious introspection, you will find that which is missing. I reiterate - being a daughter/wife/mother/grandmother, etc. are wonderful roles to play. Still, I bet there is a certain longing inside everyone, to do something. I cannot tell you what to do. Nevertheless, there is something that you can do until you figure it all out.
That is all there is to it, to begin with. Yes-get ready. Don’t sit in your nightie – or worse, change into yet another nightdress after you wake up in the morning - that might well be your first step to self-loathing!
As soon as possible in the morning and at your convenience, bathe, wear a nice comfortable, breezy, smart outfit; and apply some light make-up and …generally, spend some quality time in front of your mirror - With yourself. It is a psychological thing. You can be purposeful even without an immediate purpose! It is reverse strategy - which gives you a fantastic, refreshed feeling.
If I have not yet figured out what to do with myself, at least let me get ready for something that might come my way! Whether it is a call from a friend with an invite for a cuppa, or your husband frantically calling to order you out of the house to buy a gift for his boss’ birthday, or a sudden realization that your baby “wants” a new toy… you can decide later. To start, focus on the feeling of being clean and fresh and “all made-up” – it’s something else!
Want to try it? I have. I got ready.
It is as good as it gets.