Nearly 2 years ago...
There was this one lady in my gym (We will call her Mean Madam)who started the girls' locker room-talk with "so tell me, how come you got so fat?" Aha! Always the right note to make friends - a real charmer! I was so pissed off I told her "well, the obvious way -- too much food and not enough exercise". If it was today, i bet I would have said something a lot less polite to her and more satisfying to me. As it was, I was terribly shocked at her meanness and just avoided her thereafter. And only few months later, when i was getting tired of playing 'hide' from her (not hide and seek--did nt wanna seek THIS dame!) , did I learn from my aerobics classes pals that this one was a majorly unpopular number, being mean all around to everyone. The point to note is that she herself is not exactly svelte! Hmph.
The next is about a man who I am still playing 'hide' from, at the gym. This ManduMister was just another member who offered the stretch machine to me from what I thought was perhaps chivalry! Hah. Fat assumption. He turned out to be a plain ol' jerk. I accepted the machine out of turn cos I was in a real hurry and after i had finished, I got ready to leave but turned back to smile and say ' i am in a hurry today so, thanks'. Now this twit responded with "can i ask you something?". Apologetically, I said "yes...but am in a bit of a hurry...?"
So, Mister Twit says "How did you put on so much weight?" Again as apalled as i was, I said 'er...in the usual way' and he pressed on "Do you eat nonveg?" I said "Er.......no...err..." I mean who the hell is he to ask me any of this? So why do I owe him an answer, honest or otherwise? Of course me today, would have stuck my tongue out at him or given him a cold look and walked out on the conversation, but me then, was a pushover.
So he goes on "ah, then it must be easy to lose weight if you are veg" (Well, DUH!heard of the vegetarian mammal -- The ELEPHANT?) Blubbering on..." What do you eat in the morning?" "DUHHHH. Am i going to discuss my life with you?"
So i said "Look, as I said, I am really in a hurry...so.." and moved away a bit. Then he goes" ok, ok, sorry, but you have such a nice face and..." This was the last straw. Hitting on and insulting me at the same time! It was not even like he is some James Bond variety! Definitely had a James Bonda face and a very irritating expression and a horrible dress sense and an annoying, receding hairline! None of these I would have noticed MIND you, if he had been a nice person in the first place!
Saying "Thanks..." for the 'compliment', I strode off. Later I heard from a friend at the gym that he tried asking her out for coffee to discuss his marital 'issues'!! Basically, a man best avoided!Also learned his name which I have now, (predictably?) forgotten!
Even today, if I see him around (which i thankfully don't much), I simply dart in the opposite direction! Escapist I definitely am. Else, might throw something at him but usually have nothing filthy enough to do so.
That's the story of Mister Twit.
As for the Mean Madam, she is hardly to be seen and if seen, we all make sure she is not heard!!
Next post will probably be about my encounter with a sicko on a train...let's call him Pervert Prabhu! Ohhh and I must follow that up with the Pesterfering Phony Panni (PPP), the guy who was looking for extra marital affairs in the name of frienship and called one of the most unlikely candidates for it in the world...yeah, ME!:)
But those are not gym tales...just tales;)
Just wait...till my next post.
Cheers!
6 comments:
hahaha, sounds like fun.
here my gym has a seperate wing for women and another for men. so all the ogling happens in the common landing. but since the men who workout are real hunks, you get the general pic right?!!
but man, can women go crazy when there are no men around. there are some who actually work out half naked!
Akkkkkkkaaa.... now let me give you one more story from the North of the Vindhyas. Most of these gym ladkies in my gym resemble (wonly in size) a Silpa setty / Priyanka Sopra / Kareena Kapoor or some one ollier than that. [I hate using the word slim..] Anywayz these Priyanka Chopra Olli Omakuchhinies' favourite line "areeey yaar.. i have put on weight.. you know I used to have perfect abs before I became pregnant. Post motherhood this (pointing to her non-existing abs)is not going".. all this looking at me who probably resembles Shilpa Shetty's mother (wonly in size again)
This post also reminds me of a college (so called) friend of ours who was probably 10 kgs minus the normal weight , who would come and tell us "I have put on weight-u"
"Unakellam timir deee.. "I wanted to.. wanted to .. say then.. but couldnt
Such is life dearies :)
You have been too soft on the makkals. you should blast...er nuke them. If somebody (whom I don't know) asks me why am I so huge, I imediately respond (in tamizh) "do u feed me by any chance?" and then follow it up with some expletive.... Indians lack this decency factor a lot - they don't hesitate to talk about personal issues just like that. That way (one of the very few ways) US is much better - people here are atleast 10-20 times fatter than me and to ask somebody how are so fat is considered RUDE and actually they will sue you for asking that. I have literally seen instances when very fat/obese people sitting on two seats in the bus and nobody trying to even give them a smirk.... i really like that among americans....
LKS
I have seen half-naked women in my gym too... but they dont mind who's there to see - men, women, anything in between :)
Sooey, I can't believe people actually come up to you and ask you such q's. Maybe creative answers will appease their insane curiosity- like (a) I was thin yesterday, dunno what happened on the way to the gym (b) I'm fat? Really? (c)I'm not fat, I'm cuddly, you've got a problem with your eyes. Dream up answers wilder and better than the last. Entertain these useless blokes. :)
Personally, very thin people remind me of stick cartoon characters (ha ha remember me when i was little).
A recent conversation I had:
Dude, there are guys who are the Sylvester Stallones of the world and others who are never meant to be. I think we are both belong to the second type.
After this the other person in conversation never discussed about a small paunch in my otherwise slim frame! :)
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