Jolly Walkers

Why in India, at least in Chennai, do walkers do their best not to make eye contact? Ok, they may be complete strangers but one walker will either acknowledge another with a cold stare or furtive glances, or simply by turning away his or her face to avoid any expression.

If someone does decide to overlook these cold-shoulder techniques and smiles at another co-walker, he or she is usually greeted with suspicion -- either a suspicious look or a tentative half-smile which says: SHOULD I be smiling back at you?

I usually appraise a co-walker in the far distance and screw up my eyes in concentration to see if he or she is recognisable. If so, then I quickly think of how to go about saying hi and figure out whether I really want to stop and talk or just pretend to see them in the last moment and quickly say hi, how are you and bye. If I don't know them, so much the better. As I get closer I 'check' him or her out and then decide if I fel like giving him or her more than the one furtive glance (Thiruttu muzhi it is called in Tamil).

'When in Rome...' syndrome, i call it. Don't want to be known as the only whacko who smiles at everyone in sight.

Of course, I need to clarify at this point that I do not really qualify as a 'walker' -- two days does not cut it. But having gone for walks erratically and otherwise for oh so many years, I have observed enough walkers to know better than to smile at co-walkers I don't know.

Mostly cos I hate it when my smile is not returned!

Weird things

There are people who hang up the phone as you are talking to them, cutting you off in mid-sentence. There are those who don't say hi when they answer the phone and know it is you -- they say "mmm" (HOWW ruuude) and then those who hang up without saying bye.

Also, don't like those who respond to your phone 'hi, are you busy?' with a resigned 'Tell me'. That's lukewarm, to say the least. May as well say 'yes, bit busy..later?'

Then there are those who laugh noiselessly. Worse, there are those who shake their shoulders on pupose while laughing, supposedly to convince others that they are indeed laughing. Annoying habit.

Many hide whatever they are feeling with laughter and happy talk. Heck, I do that myself sometimes.

Then come those who laugh at their own jokes...alone. Nope, I ain't one of them...yet! But the world is getting weirder and weirder by the day that I consider often, of going with the saying: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em'.

Stand up!

What's the deal with stand up comedy? It seems to be everywhere now. I have always been QUITE interested in watching some acts but it took me rather by surprise (bordering on shock) that one of my friends SERIOUSLY thinks I should try an act of my own. Now, she is quite a wise and knowledgeable woman so when she keeps saying this "You should be a stand up comedian" I am like "REALLLLY?!!" Hmmm. Time for a quick spot of introspection I say...

I know people who are far funnier than I am. Friends and family, in fact. They would be better stand up comedy candidates because of their presentability and flow of speech and wit. Me, I am a bumpkin fraught with stage fear.

(According to some who know me quite well, i only have stage fear until I get up on stage but I cannot take the risk of checking THAT theory out!Not at this RIPE YOUNG age)

So, as many of us weirdos are wont to do, I began imagining it: my act, picturing myself standing up on some bar (I HAVE to be informal, no coat-suit and boot for this ol' gal) but why a bar? Why not on some stage or platform or spotlight-y corner...oh, wait. I know where I got that idea...it's from 'Cocktails', the Tom Cruise movie in which he was at his cutest best and much more than a decade BEFORE he jumped up backwards onto the sofa on Oprah Winfrey's show to proclaim his lovvvve for that Kate (or Katie) woman. Yup, that jump backwards was a jump backwards indeed! Am seriously unsure I will be thrilled with a sissy man wearing too wide a grin proclaiming his lovvve for me.
Men should grin, no doubt. But wickedly or sexily. NOT continuously and gleefully, to say "I LOVVVE her'. At least not in front of so many women. Oprah Winfrey did laugh but am sure that was because of how famous that episode of her show was going to be.

Look, at a poker game with his friends kicking him under the table, yes, a man may allow himself to grin about his LOVVE find. But on TV? With a female talk show host and thousands -- millions of women watching? Ugh. Nothing like starry eyes to take the man out of the manly.

Anyway. Tom Cruise made a real 'Tom Loose' of himself. (Tamil 'loose')

So...where was I? Ah. My idle thought about stand up comedy.

Heck...it remains idle. Too many bozos to compete with.