Sunday, December 06, 2009

Lost.


Losing certain relationships ...happens.


Have lost two 'acquaintances' in the last year and one other important relationship since ...it's been quite a few years now. Perhaps because it is December or something, signalling the end of this year -- a year when I feel I have thought much about...well, much, compared to years gone by, here I am posting about some 'thinks'!

The two acquaintances -- yes, they are just that obviously, I was associated with for around 2-3 years. Right from the beginning, there was no real emotional attachment despite a lot of friendliness and so, the loss when it happened was more a very minor disappointment (more in the PERSON than anything else) coupled with some amount of anger for having been 'taken for a ride'. These are people who essentially used and threw. Ok, lesson learned. Continue on paranoid, suspicious mode.
Looking back: -
Acquaintance 1: Was pushy, unfair and ...unfair some more. I am to be blamed of course. You are only a fool if you are willing to be one. Hmph.
Acquaintance 2: Was overly-nice and the MOST pseudo person (could only see this in hindsight for sure, although a suspicion lurked) I have come across till date. Well, at least I was spared this experience for this long.

The other one lost since many years is what I would call an ex-dear-friend. 'Ex' not because I detest her or anything but she is an ex-friend because she is not a friend right now and clearly may not even care if I am alive or dead. That's how I perceive the complete silence or cut-off.
No sweat. I am alive right now!! Why I became 'ex' is known in entirety only to her. Was so curious for the longest time, but time does heal some questions... quite disinterested in that right now in spite of posting about it. I could rant and rave about HOW could she do this to me and AFTER ALL this time, etc. having been friends from smallchildhood, but clearly, she must have huge, valid reasons. Besides, she was beside me during the toughest phase of my life, so I do wish this ex-friend well and am not even very sorry that she is no longer by my side. I miss her sure, as I am certain is vice-versa (so modest, Teesu!!), but...maturity rears its ugly head and belts out into my wax-filled ear 'que sera sera...'


Yes, whatever will be will be. Indeed. Lesson of the year perhaps?

2 comments:

ummon said...

some relationships are just not meant to be! but we move on.
curious about acquaintances, are these on the freelance jobs?
i know about the ex. yes sad, cos i've seen both of you together as well. maybe sometime in the future... i have a couple of friends reconnecting after a decade. it just worked out.
and must say, the baby is creeping me out a bit :)

Deepak G said...

this bot forth the memories of my ' best friend' who seperated right after school...hmmm..we met after a gap of 4 yrs but there was some barrier kinda 'cold' thing between us..love once lost cant be redeemed i guess..