This tag came from my cuz. Bit of a 'homework piece' for me and not the random sort of bullshit I usually like to indulge in;) Hence, the delay. But am still obviously OK to do it quite cheerfully and so here I am. Also, was a wee bit 'embraced' about the book am presently reading so the reluctance. Then I decided...what the heck?
(And now as I REALLY read the rules herein below I realise that it is the NEAREST book. All this while I had thought it had to be the book I am currently reading. OHO. )
Now, for the Page 123 tag.These are the rules:
1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people, and acknowledge the person who tagged you.
Now, very revealingly, the nearest book to me all this while was the Gourmet Guide!! (Chennai's restaurant finder -- like I need one!) but then the book nearest me today right now is one MODERN Mills and Boon called The Billionaire Boss's Secretary Bride by Helen Brooks. It is rather boring (too much thinking on the part of the lovebirds and not enough conversation) though the theme was good since the usually skinny, svelte, slender and downright frail heroine has in this book been replaced by a curvy and rounded figure which although does not necessarily translate as 'fat but beautiful' (Ahem!), is still better than the 'I will huff and I will puff and I will blow this Mills and Boon heroine away' types;)
The necessary part from Page 123 for this tag is:
"She needed milky cocoa to help her sleep, she told herself firmly. And perhaps a couple of slices of buttered toast too. Her heart might be in shreds, she might be looking at an empty future devoid of husband and children and all the things she'd thought she'd have one day, but she was n't going to crumble into tiny pieces now or at any other time."
Now for tagging others. My cousin shyam tagged me and now I ain't gonna. Anyone wants to take this on, you can feel free. Cos am lazy to think of anybody now.:)
Oh and if I had gone with the Gourmet Guide, I would have landed on this supposedly snooty restaurant called Prego where a meal for 3 may cost Rs. 9000/- (hearsay) and this restaurant is located in the Taj Coromandel hotel in Chennai. The hotel's chinese is rather superb but that restaurant (Golden Dragon) is presently closed for renovation.
Cheers.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Ten Secrets
Ten secrets about me (copied idea from my dear cuz's blog).
1. When I was around 4 years old or just over, I developed a major crush on MGR after watching him relieve a lion of it's pain (thorn in the paw) in 'Vettaikaaran'. So much so that I wrote feverishly on the walls of my home ..."MGR MGR MGR MGR" punctuated by the odd "Latha" who used to be his then heroine.
2. I wanted to become a vet until I realised I would have to treat pigs and cows too. (I had seen a vet put his entire forearm into the womb of a cow to remove the placenta after the calf's birth -- at least I think that's what he was doing!)
3. I was my older sister's 'fan' until I turned a teenager. I am not sure if fan is the right word. She was my master!
4. I was mortally afraid of my father until I turned around ten or eleven even though he never ever beat me even once! I was just shit scared of him. My mother did a good job of "Appa kitta sollatuma?"(Shall I tell dad?)
5. I am still a bit scared of my mother! (Though it does n't look that way)
6. Although I always wanted to fly, once I started learning, I was actually quite scared of the whole thing. Only through sheer will power did I get through my PPL course. But was not scared after the intial hours in the sky.
7. I am horribly afraid of natural disasters -- earthquake, tsunami, volcano eruptions, storms and even rain! I am paranoid too!
8. I am afraid of the dark.
9. I have once lied blatantly to a policeman once and pulled a fast and smooth one on him. He stopped me in my car once on Mount Road after midnight and asked for my license. I knew I did n't have it with me in the car (though I had/have a valid one) but I said "Sure, sir, RIGHHHT here" and leaned over to the dashboard. I was so convincing and dramatic that he quickly waved me off without checking!
10. I once stole (I was 8)my classmate's ruler from her and NEVER gave it back. I felt bad later but still did n't own up. Later that same year, I also stole a fountain pen. When i later discovered my then best friend crying and hunting for her new pen, I panicked, dropped it down somewhere and then pretended to 'find it' and pounced on it and triumphantly handed it back to her. I never stole anything after that!
How are my secrets?;)
1. When I was around 4 years old or just over, I developed a major crush on MGR after watching him relieve a lion of it's pain (thorn in the paw) in 'Vettaikaaran'. So much so that I wrote feverishly on the walls of my home ..."MGR MGR MGR MGR" punctuated by the odd "Latha" who used to be his then heroine.
2. I wanted to become a vet until I realised I would have to treat pigs and cows too. (I had seen a vet put his entire forearm into the womb of a cow to remove the placenta after the calf's birth -- at least I think that's what he was doing!)
3. I was my older sister's 'fan' until I turned a teenager. I am not sure if fan is the right word. She was my master!
4. I was mortally afraid of my father until I turned around ten or eleven even though he never ever beat me even once! I was just shit scared of him. My mother did a good job of "Appa kitta sollatuma?"(Shall I tell dad?)
5. I am still a bit scared of my mother! (Though it does n't look that way)
6. Although I always wanted to fly, once I started learning, I was actually quite scared of the whole thing. Only through sheer will power did I get through my PPL course. But was not scared after the intial hours in the sky.
7. I am horribly afraid of natural disasters -- earthquake, tsunami, volcano eruptions, storms and even rain! I am paranoid too!
8. I am afraid of the dark.
9. I have once lied blatantly to a policeman once and pulled a fast and smooth one on him. He stopped me in my car once on Mount Road after midnight and asked for my license. I knew I did n't have it with me in the car (though I had/have a valid one) but I said "Sure, sir, RIGHHHT here" and leaned over to the dashboard. I was so convincing and dramatic that he quickly waved me off without checking!
10. I once stole (I was 8)my classmate's ruler from her and NEVER gave it back. I felt bad later but still did n't own up. Later that same year, I also stole a fountain pen. When i later discovered my then best friend crying and hunting for her new pen, I panicked, dropped it down somewhere and then pretended to 'find it' and pounced on it and triumphantly handed it back to her. I never stole anything after that!
How are my secrets?;)
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
I....I...I...
May as well say am a copycat. Nyooo problemo.
I am: BASIIIIICCCAALLY nice;)
I think: too much about some things that don't deserve so much thinking.
I know: that my thinking is at least a bit impractical.
I want: to grow old looking and feeling GOOD.
I have: more body weight than I care to have.
I wish: I had more will power.
I miss: my childhood.
I fear: losing loved ones.
I feel: bad for the orphaned, old and lonely.
I smell: usually bad before a bath and good after.
I search: for misplaced bills mostly.
I wonder: who will read all this.
I regret: having regained much of the weight I lost.
I love: being in love.
I ache: in weird places at weird times...(eeks. too honest?;))
I care: too much about those who don't really matter sometimes.
I am not: a rule breaker.
I believe: in love, in music and in the fact that a healthy low fat diet combined with exercise is the ONLY good way to lose weight. (HMPH.)
I dance: a GREAT DEAL less than I want to.
I sing: these days better than I ever did before.
I cry : at movies very easily.
I don’t always : get my pedicures done.
I fight : sleep some days for no good reason.
I write: for deadlines that I have now come to dislike.
I win: when others lose to me.
I lose: quite easily, as history as shown.
I never: sleep at night without brushing my teeth.
I always: pray to God before I sleep.
I confuse: too easily for my liking.
I listen: to most people who want me to.
I can usually be found: if someone really wants to find me.
I am scared: of many things.
I need: a lot of love (high maintenance;)
I am happy about: my school and college life.
I am: BASIIIIICCCAALLY nice;)
I think: too much about some things that don't deserve so much thinking.
I know: that my thinking is at least a bit impractical.
I want: to grow old looking and feeling GOOD.
I have: more body weight than I care to have.
I wish: I had more will power.
I miss: my childhood.
I fear: losing loved ones.
I feel: bad for the orphaned, old and lonely.
I smell: usually bad before a bath and good after.
I search: for misplaced bills mostly.
I wonder: who will read all this.
I regret: having regained much of the weight I lost.
I love: being in love.
I ache: in weird places at weird times...(eeks. too honest?;))
I care: too much about those who don't really matter sometimes.
I am not: a rule breaker.
I believe: in love, in music and in the fact that a healthy low fat diet combined with exercise is the ONLY good way to lose weight. (HMPH.)
I dance: a GREAT DEAL less than I want to.
I sing: these days better than I ever did before.
I cry : at movies very easily.
I don’t always : get my pedicures done.
I fight : sleep some days for no good reason.
I write: for deadlines that I have now come to dislike.
I win: when others lose to me.
I lose: quite easily, as history as shown.
I never: sleep at night without brushing my teeth.
I always: pray to God before I sleep.
I confuse: too easily for my liking.
I listen: to most people who want me to.
I can usually be found: if someone really wants to find me.
I am scared: of many things.
I need: a lot of love (high maintenance;)
I am happy about: my school and college life.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Lofty twits
I had some handycam back-up to be taken pronto and it took me three phone calls to be convinced that Konica Nungambakkam would do it for me in an hour just as they promised they would and I convinced myself of this through my various cross 'qosteens'. Cos I needed it done in a hurry.
Then, I had all these great photo-stands and all these great snaps that I wanted printed and fitted into some nice stands and frames. So, I took it along to Konica Nungambakkam together with my handycam. Now, this place is supposed to be good, and the 'ultimate' Konica in Chennai. Whatever.
The reticent lady there first fumbled with my handycam and looked disbelieveing when I told her it was a hard disk camcorder -(bet she did n't know much about it -- well, i did n't either but SHE ought to have) . She coolly told me :
1. that it would take 2 days to get the dvds from handycam done
2. that TWO of the 3 photo stands I gave to her to examine would fit only ONE photo in each slot although I repeatedly told her the design was such that one could slide two in -- front and back. She steadfastly refused to agree and insisted in her reticent way that only one would fit into each.
Now, do I have some sort of anti-people personality that puts many people into some sort of loop where they feel giving me wrong or incomplete information gives them a sense of satisfaction?
Anyway, the person I am now trying to become, I told her in no uncertain terms...
1. that she had BETTER get me my dvds that day since I had spoken to that office the previous day and they had given me their word that they would do it in one hour...so she reluctantly made a show of consulting colleagues and said it could be done in 5 hours. (something is better than nothing)
2. that i wanted double the number of photos than was suggested by her despite her 'expert' advice, 'just in case' my idea about the photo stands worked.
Well, I got my DVDs ok that day and my photo stands are now proudly sporting all the photos I got printed and more. The words imbecile and incompetent come to mind when I consider this woman. Sure, it is no earthshattering mistake, but it was indifference mingled with lazily misplaced over-confidence. Had it not been for my inherently innocent-turned-suspicious nature that most 'service' people today don't give a damn and that I better look after myself, I would have had to make 2 more trips for this small job.
Grrrrrr.
Then, I had all these great photo-stands and all these great snaps that I wanted printed and fitted into some nice stands and frames. So, I took it along to Konica Nungambakkam together with my handycam. Now, this place is supposed to be good, and the 'ultimate' Konica in Chennai. Whatever.
The reticent lady there first fumbled with my handycam and looked disbelieveing when I told her it was a hard disk camcorder -(bet she did n't know much about it -- well, i did n't either but SHE ought to have) . She coolly told me :
1. that it would take 2 days to get the dvds from handycam done
2. that TWO of the 3 photo stands I gave to her to examine would fit only ONE photo in each slot although I repeatedly told her the design was such that one could slide two in -- front and back. She steadfastly refused to agree and insisted in her reticent way that only one would fit into each.
Now, do I have some sort of anti-people personality that puts many people into some sort of loop where they feel giving me wrong or incomplete information gives them a sense of satisfaction?
Anyway, the person I am now trying to become, I told her in no uncertain terms...
1. that she had BETTER get me my dvds that day since I had spoken to that office the previous day and they had given me their word that they would do it in one hour...so she reluctantly made a show of consulting colleagues and said it could be done in 5 hours. (something is better than nothing)
2. that i wanted double the number of photos than was suggested by her despite her 'expert' advice, 'just in case' my idea about the photo stands worked.
Well, I got my DVDs ok that day and my photo stands are now proudly sporting all the photos I got printed and more. The words imbecile and incompetent come to mind when I consider this woman. Sure, it is no earthshattering mistake, but it was indifference mingled with lazily misplaced over-confidence. Had it not been for my inherently innocent-turned-suspicious nature that most 'service' people today don't give a damn and that I better look after myself, I would have had to make 2 more trips for this small job.
Grrrrrr.
Make out list
Ok, another from my cuz www.shyamram.blogspot.com where she listed ten literary characters she would totally make out with, but with whom she won't because...you know. Now, I'm not as well-read as she is, and therefore cannot remember that many literary characters and so, I am going to change the rules slightly.
SO, mine will also be a list of 10-20(!) characters or actors;) , NOT whom I would 'totally make out with' (yedhukku vambu?) but er, those I was/am romantically or generally inclined towards, shall we say?: -
(Pssst! It means the same , does n't it?)
(Psssssst, cuz whom I copied from, forgive me, I know not what I do -- am going overboard as many literary characters went flying out of my head suddenly!)
1. Rhett Butler in Gone With The Wind. (oo la la anyday -- be he or be he not, Clark Gable)
2. Dick of Famous Five -- as a kid, was quite interested in this character with his humour and all that -- Julian was a bit of a bore. George of course was not a boy...SIGH;), Anne not an option.
3. Frank Hardy from the Hardy Boys -- again, WHEN I was a teenager, if you please. I think I liked his name and dark hair more than anything else.
3. Ned Nickerson, boyfriend of Nancy Drew -- Again during my early teens, and imaginary boyfriend-nabbing is/was no problem. Also, at the time, his surname did n't bug me as much;)
4. Cary Grant -- if I had been born at that time
5. Rock Hudson -- if he had n't turned out to be gay...and if I had been born around then
6. Karthik -- ONLY in Mouna raagam and Agninatshathiram
7. Kamal Haasan -- in Sathya and younger version in Nayagan and as Raju in Michael Madana Kama Rajan
8. Sirius Black -- Harry Potter's Godfather as described in the Books (not movies)
9. Severus Snape -- the supposedly mean ol' Professor in the Harry Potter Books, not films. As an adult, but after a good shampoo bath followed by conditioning of course.
10. Sylvester Stallone -- in Over The Top
11. Surya -- as police officer Anbuchelvan in Kaakha Kaakha
12. Vikram -- as police officer Aaruchaami in Samy
13. Vikram -- in Dhool
14. Sivaji Ganesan in his youth-o-youth, portraying ...some characters -- angry young man or stylish and suave 'eng' man!! (shocking, is n't it?)
15. George Clooney unless he is smaller made in real life
16. Michael Moretti -- the bad, powerful man in Sidney Sheldon's Rage of Angels
17. Rajinikant -- as the autodriver with the Don-past in Baasha
18. Laurie -- Little Women
19. Jeff Stevens -- the conman from If Tomorrow Comes
20. Superman!
Gosh if there's more, will add/replace. Not to mention many of the Mills and Boon heroes who have wasted my time...and still do!
Cheers!
SO, mine will also be a list of 10-20(!) characters or actors;) , NOT whom I would 'totally make out with' (yedhukku vambu?) but er, those I was/am romantically or generally inclined towards, shall we say?: -
(Pssst! It means the same , does n't it?)
(Psssssst, cuz whom I copied from, forgive me, I know not what I do -- am going overboard as many literary characters went flying out of my head suddenly!)
1. Rhett Butler in Gone With The Wind. (oo la la anyday -- be he or be he not, Clark Gable)
2. Dick of Famous Five -- as a kid, was quite interested in this character with his humour and all that -- Julian was a bit of a bore. George of course was not a boy...SIGH;), Anne not an option.
3. Frank Hardy from the Hardy Boys -- again, WHEN I was a teenager, if you please. I think I liked his name and dark hair more than anything else.
3. Ned Nickerson, boyfriend of Nancy Drew -- Again during my early teens, and imaginary boyfriend-nabbing is/was no problem. Also, at the time, his surname did n't bug me as much;)
4. Cary Grant -- if I had been born at that time
5. Rock Hudson -- if he had n't turned out to be gay...and if I had been born around then
6. Karthik -- ONLY in Mouna raagam and Agninatshathiram
7. Kamal Haasan -- in Sathya and younger version in Nayagan and as Raju in Michael Madana Kama Rajan
8. Sirius Black -- Harry Potter's Godfather as described in the Books (not movies)
9. Severus Snape -- the supposedly mean ol' Professor in the Harry Potter Books, not films. As an adult, but after a good shampoo bath followed by conditioning of course.
10. Sylvester Stallone -- in Over The Top
11. Surya -- as police officer Anbuchelvan in Kaakha Kaakha
12. Vikram -- as police officer Aaruchaami in Samy
13. Vikram -- in Dhool
14. Sivaji Ganesan in his youth-o-youth, portraying ...some characters -- angry young man or stylish and suave 'eng' man!! (shocking, is n't it?)
15. George Clooney unless he is smaller made in real life
16. Michael Moretti -- the bad, powerful man in Sidney Sheldon's Rage of Angels
17. Rajinikant -- as the autodriver with the Don-past in Baasha
18. Laurie -- Little Women
19. Jeff Stevens -- the conman from If Tomorrow Comes
20. Superman!
Gosh if there's more, will add/replace. Not to mention many of the Mills and Boon heroes who have wasted my time...and still do!
Cheers!
Four-time movies
Young and impressionable days -- teenage is full of them. Much of my leisure time was spent with my gang of friends --chats, lunches, dinners, cuppas, sleepovers, spend-overs(!) and movies.
Movies we loved because
a) we loved the hero / heroine,
b) ONE of us loved the hero/heroine,
c) we or some of us loved the movie
d) we loved the experience of going to that movie together or simply
e) all of us loved everything about it.
I think the maximum number of times we have seen the same film on the big screen is 4. Four times! The films that enjoyed this ...er, privilege are: -
1) Mouna Ragam -- deserves a mention even if we did not catch it 4 times on the big screen (we were around 13 then and probably not allowed out all that much!) but together, we would have seen it at one of our homes at least 10-12 times. And a few of us knew the dialogues to the 20 minute Karthik's part of the film BY HEART! Boy was he fab then!
2) Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikander -- Aamir Khan, whom i did not much care for in QSQT -- uruchuvitta kozhi look (plucked chicken) and all that, as I was always after macho-er men in reel life. BUT in this film, he was...my GAAAD. The film was great, had this whole cute love story thing going as well as great songs -- one in particular that triggered off this post is 'Pehla Nashaa' , which is still a beautiful song. Then there was the 'schooly' competition (bicycle race) thrown in. Wonderful experience although am pretty sure 4 times were warranted only because it had one of those first time kissing scenes (aamir khan and pooja bedi) that gave us desperate housegirls;) a major kick.
3) Agni Natshathiram -- because of Karthik, t'was a great entertainer and also because 2-3 of us liked Karthik while one liked Prabhu and the rest liked the fact that we liked them...oh, the joblessness of teenage...mmmmm. (Nostalgia bout)
4) Gopuravaasalile -- Karthik again. Just for him (although he was already beginnning to lose it then; his hair as well as his charm). And for the songs. Otherwise, a very sidey film I must admit. But 4 times we did see it on the big screen ...and in quick succession. HOW did our parents allow us to do so? Beats me!
Can't think of anymore although I did see Cliffhanger (Sylvester Stallone) 4times in the theatre -- once or twice with friends, once with my mom(!)-- yeah, ANYTHING to drool at the SLYman then! --and once with some other unsuspecting friend;)
Am sure there are more on the list. Perhaps some friend from that movie-hungry gang who reads this can help me out.
Those were the days!
Cheers!
Movies we loved because
a) we loved the hero / heroine,
b) ONE of us loved the hero/heroine,
c) we or some of us loved the movie
d) we loved the experience of going to that movie together or simply
e) all of us loved everything about it.
I think the maximum number of times we have seen the same film on the big screen is 4. Four times! The films that enjoyed this ...er, privilege are: -
1) Mouna Ragam -- deserves a mention even if we did not catch it 4 times on the big screen (we were around 13 then and probably not allowed out all that much!) but together, we would have seen it at one of our homes at least 10-12 times. And a few of us knew the dialogues to the 20 minute Karthik's part of the film BY HEART! Boy was he fab then!
2) Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikander -- Aamir Khan, whom i did not much care for in QSQT -- uruchuvitta kozhi look (plucked chicken) and all that, as I was always after macho-er men in reel life. BUT in this film, he was...my GAAAD. The film was great, had this whole cute love story thing going as well as great songs -- one in particular that triggered off this post is 'Pehla Nashaa' , which is still a beautiful song. Then there was the 'schooly' competition (bicycle race) thrown in. Wonderful experience although am pretty sure 4 times were warranted only because it had one of those first time kissing scenes (aamir khan and pooja bedi) that gave us desperate housegirls;) a major kick.
3) Agni Natshathiram -- because of Karthik, t'was a great entertainer and also because 2-3 of us liked Karthik while one liked Prabhu and the rest liked the fact that we liked them...oh, the joblessness of teenage...mmmmm. (Nostalgia bout)
4) Gopuravaasalile -- Karthik again. Just for him (although he was already beginnning to lose it then; his hair as well as his charm). And for the songs. Otherwise, a very sidey film I must admit. But 4 times we did see it on the big screen ...and in quick succession. HOW did our parents allow us to do so? Beats me!
Can't think of anymore although I did see Cliffhanger (Sylvester Stallone) 4times in the theatre -- once or twice with friends, once with my mom(!)-- yeah, ANYTHING to drool at the SLYman then! --and once with some other unsuspecting friend;)
Am sure there are more on the list. Perhaps some friend from that movie-hungry gang who reads this can help me out.
Those were the days!
Cheers!
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Ring Ring
One of those 'chargrining' things is when the phone rings just when...
You drop off to sleep in an 'anandhamaana' (blissful) way and then...ring ring
You postpone a trip to the loo because you were...just postponing it and then as soon as you hit the pot...ring ring
The door bell rings on one of those mad days when it just rings too often and then comes the phone simultaneously...ring ring
You are on your cell phone having a scintillating conversation with someone when your landline goes...ring ring
You are reading a fabulous book and are totally into it; it is that unputdownable stage of the story and then...ring ring
You are watching an interesting film and not in the mood for any conversation when...ring ring
You are enjoying the most wonderful hair (or body) massage ever and drifting into space when...ring ring
OK, ok, I have nothing great to post. But feel I must. So, this;)
Friends, please continue calling me, this is just a post!
You drop off to sleep in an 'anandhamaana' (blissful) way and then...ring ring
You postpone a trip to the loo because you were...just postponing it and then as soon as you hit the pot...ring ring
The door bell rings on one of those mad days when it just rings too often and then comes the phone simultaneously...ring ring
You are on your cell phone having a scintillating conversation with someone when your landline goes...ring ring
You are reading a fabulous book and are totally into it; it is that unputdownable stage of the story and then...ring ring
You are watching an interesting film and not in the mood for any conversation when...ring ring
You are enjoying the most wonderful hair (or body) massage ever and drifting into space when...ring ring
OK, ok, I have nothing great to post. But feel I must. So, this;)
Friends, please continue calling me, this is just a post!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Bad on me
It's in my head but not in my actions. So many one liners are lurking in my head, born from so many thoughts and experiences. Many are funny and usually, am on the throne when they come to me and I end up chuckling to myself, appreciating my own wit. But when I exit the loo, they have left my head.
It's in my head but not in print. I have so many little things I want to write about and they are roaming around in my head but I do not actually sit down and write them or type them out.
It's in my head -- all the things (mostly nice) that I want to say to people -- close pals or relatives and they are kept inside my head safe, since I do nothing about them.
It's in my head -- my imagination and creative ideas, because I am not implementing them.
It's in my head -- imaginary conversations that I should have had. (Conveniently blocking out whatever 'loser'-conversations I ended up having).
It's in my head that all this holding back and non-action is very wrong and a colossal waste...
The one good thing I have deduced from all this introspection is ...there is SOMEthing in my head. And it's working. Now for the rest of the body to follow suit.
Ahh. That's another matter altogether. Or is that the main matter?
It's in my head but not in print. I have so many little things I want to write about and they are roaming around in my head but I do not actually sit down and write them or type them out.
It's in my head -- all the things (mostly nice) that I want to say to people -- close pals or relatives and they are kept inside my head safe, since I do nothing about them.
It's in my head -- my imagination and creative ideas, because I am not implementing them.
It's in my head -- imaginary conversations that I should have had. (Conveniently blocking out whatever 'loser'-conversations I ended up having).
It's in my head that all this holding back and non-action is very wrong and a colossal waste...
The one good thing I have deduced from all this introspection is ...there is SOMEthing in my head. And it's working. Now for the rest of the body to follow suit.
Ahh. That's another matter altogether. Or is that the main matter?
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
How tough IS it??
When someone smiles at you, DO smile back. I mean how tough IS it? When my smile is greeted by a suspicious look, I can tell you, it is most annoying. It's not as if I smile all the time (idiotically, like some -- ahhh that's another post!) but there are situations when you can indeed, acknowledge another human being by smiling at him or her. Earlier, whenever my smile drew a blank, I would be highly embarrassed and try to act like my smile was not actually a smile, but more of a grimace. ..to myself. (Who wants to seem goofy?) These days, older, wiser and all that good stuff (self proclaiming), when I get THE LOOK in return for my smile, I can actually frown at the jerk and go quick from warm to frosty. Cannot help it. Art of survival...for smiles, anyway.
Most of us look fine enough when we smile, if not more attractive. I cannot think of a single person who would look ugly or horrible when he or she smiled. On the other hand, 'long' faces are a nightmare.
Unbelievable. One thing that human beings can do over the other beasts is smile and laugh . I mean can you imagine if you caught (say) a buffalo grinning at you? You would probably take to your heels thinking you saw Yama!
Oh, JUST smile now and then and be done with it...it is said to make people wonder what you are upto.
Most of us look fine enough when we smile, if not more attractive. I cannot think of a single person who would look ugly or horrible when he or she smiled. On the other hand, 'long' faces are a nightmare.
Unbelievable. One thing that human beings can do over the other beasts is smile and laugh . I mean can you imagine if you caught (say) a buffalo grinning at you? You would probably take to your heels thinking you saw Yama!
Oh, JUST smile now and then and be done with it...it is said to make people wonder what you are upto.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Those one-offs
Ever notice how chance buys end up being great buys? You shop and you shop, thinking you know what you want -- you may even have a list. Then, you see something that you kind of take a fancy to and voila, you have paid for it thinking that you don't REALLY need it. But then it turns out, that you REALLY do and it soon becomes a much-used item and eventually, something you treasure. For me, it has been a pair of earrings, a pair of trousers (for that great fit), a tray, a penstand or even underwear. (There's more on the list but my hotshot here-and-present memory only allows for these) It's that one-off buy that brings the greatest satisfaction despite not having got that coveted place on your to-buy list!
The downside to chance buys is that you cannot, often, repeat them. The thing becomes elusive -- usually, just after it has been established that it was a great buy. Try as you might, you may never be able to get your hands on quite that kind of similar item. No new ones for old ones on chance buys. It's the ONLY one. I have finally resigned myself to this (all good things must be tough to obtain more than once) and after one attempt to repeat, I move on to something else. I figure if the last great chance buy was a T shirt, this time, it might be...sommmething else...
The downside to chance buys is that you cannot, often, repeat them. The thing becomes elusive -- usually, just after it has been established that it was a great buy. Try as you might, you may never be able to get your hands on quite that kind of similar item. No new ones for old ones on chance buys. It's the ONLY one. I have finally resigned myself to this (all good things must be tough to obtain more than once) and after one attempt to repeat, I move on to something else. I figure if the last great chance buy was a T shirt, this time, it might be...sommmething else...
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
One word
Copycat time -- from shyamram.blogspot.com
One word answers! Anyway, I love these 'about me' questions;)
If you get something out of a vending machine, it's most likely to be: Nothing (vending machines intimidate me)
A word you sometimes catch yourself misspelling: misspell
You least want people to see you as: Mean
You're a little scared of: Hospitals
The least attractive thing you do in your sleep: No idea...drool?;)
The number of contacts in your cell phone: Fifty+
How many of them are restaurants: 4
You lose your cool when someone: derides
When you go to the drugstore, you often can't leave without buying: something
Your dance moves can best be described as: safe
The majority of your underwear is: comfortable
Something you eat even though you hate how bad it is for you: chips
You think you're really not a great: guest
How much cash is in your wallet right now: Rs. 1000
The majority of your shoes are this color: Black
You don't think you'll ever be able to get rid of your: fears
If your breath is bad, it's most likely because you had: onions
You feel embarrassed when you: trip
The last public place where you used the restroom: aeroplane
Something you don't like to debate in mixed company: periods
You don't think you can pull off wearing: stilettos
Something you own entirely too much of: knickknacks
Someone you would love to see in concert who might bring down your street cred: MJ
The last thing that you spilled on yourself: Water
If you were on a reality show, the producers would likely portray/characterize you as the: Jester
One word answers! Anyway, I love these 'about me' questions;)
If you get something out of a vending machine, it's most likely to be: Nothing (vending machines intimidate me)
A word you sometimes catch yourself misspelling: misspell
You least want people to see you as: Mean
You're a little scared of: Hospitals
The least attractive thing you do in your sleep: No idea...drool?;)
The number of contacts in your cell phone: Fifty+
How many of them are restaurants: 4
You lose your cool when someone: derides
When you go to the drugstore, you often can't leave without buying: something
Your dance moves can best be described as: safe
The majority of your underwear is: comfortable
Something you eat even though you hate how bad it is for you: chips
You think you're really not a great: guest
How much cash is in your wallet right now: Rs. 1000
The majority of your shoes are this color: Black
You don't think you'll ever be able to get rid of your: fears
If your breath is bad, it's most likely because you had: onions
You feel embarrassed when you: trip
The last public place where you used the restroom: aeroplane
Something you don't like to debate in mixed company: periods
You don't think you can pull off wearing: stilettos
Something you own entirely too much of: knickknacks
Someone you would love to see in concert who might bring down your street cred: MJ
The last thing that you spilled on yourself: Water
If you were on a reality show, the producers would likely portray/characterize you as the: Jester
Friday, April 11, 2008
Excuse me?
So, I met this older lady at some dinner at someone's house (don't ask me whose cos I cannot remember -- new acqaintances, part of some rotary club) maybe a couple of weeks or more ago. At the dinner party, we sat next to each other for at least a good twenty minutes and even were on the same team of three that played a very funny game.
Then, today at a wedding reception, I saw her again. Frankly, I did a spot of feverish thinking to place her and once I did, I went up to her and sai 'hi! Do you remember me? From that rotary dinner party?'
Vague smile at first turned to bewilderment and then recognition. This was sadly followed by a 'i must recover by blabbing' statement. She said to me" Oh, you were wearing another dress that day no? That's why you looked different then".
I agreed with her. Yes, I was INDEED wearing another dress. "Which dress.....????" she pondered to me. Yes, she actually did ask me this.
Really.
I said happily 'I have NO idea whatsoever'. I think she realised that I thought there was something quite wrong with her and her statements because she stood just one foot away from me for a full ten seconds (it seems longer during awkward pauses) looking ....silly.
(After such statements, am sorry to say, my saying 'silly' is quite polite).
Beaming I said 'ok, bye then'. Clearly, I was not gunning for a bosom-friendship with her in the near future. Ta ta.
Did she think i wore only one outfit to all parties? Was that the problem? The i-did-not recognise-you bit in a conversation should be breezy right? But here, it was the focus. And it was MY fault. For not wearing the same outfit and making it easy for her to recognise me.
Excuse me.
Then, today at a wedding reception, I saw her again. Frankly, I did a spot of feverish thinking to place her and once I did, I went up to her and sai 'hi! Do you remember me? From that rotary dinner party?'
Vague smile at first turned to bewilderment and then recognition. This was sadly followed by a 'i must recover by blabbing' statement. She said to me" Oh, you were wearing another dress that day no? That's why you looked different then".
I agreed with her. Yes, I was INDEED wearing another dress. "Which dress.....????" she pondered to me. Yes, she actually did ask me this.
Really.
I said happily 'I have NO idea whatsoever'. I think she realised that I thought there was something quite wrong with her and her statements because she stood just one foot away from me for a full ten seconds (it seems longer during awkward pauses) looking ....silly.
(After such statements, am sorry to say, my saying 'silly' is quite polite).
Beaming I said 'ok, bye then'. Clearly, I was not gunning for a bosom-friendship with her in the near future. Ta ta.
Did she think i wore only one outfit to all parties? Was that the problem? The i-did-not recognise-you bit in a conversation should be breezy right? But here, it was the focus. And it was MY fault. For not wearing the same outfit and making it easy for her to recognise me.
Excuse me.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Poem from a long ago
I wrote this poem at work when I was a shipping executive and the stars in my eyes over a period of time merely became the lights from that colourless office which shone bright...
This job that i don't enjoy
The Dream:
Am in a job I thought I would like
And one that would appeal to my psyche.
I thought it would take me places literally and figuratively,
And would enhance my potential positively.
I thought I would do some extensive travel...
The mysteries of shipping I wuld unravel.
From Trainee to President I would rise
Albeit for the success I would pay the price!
Perhaps a few enemies I would make,
And a lot of stress in life i would have to take.
But in the end, I would make it to the top
And be someone to reckon with -- a true daughter of my Pop!
The Reality:
Am in a job that I now actually dislike
And that does some serious damage to my psche.
It has taken me absolutely nowehere
And has chased my high spirits away to...I don't know where!
It has led me to suffer severe stagnation,
And has begun to leave little hope of any salvation.
I have visited places only on a personal level;
More towards home and hobbies my mind has begun to swivel!
From Trainee to Officer I have progressed-
Though in my 'personal achievements' I have sadly regressed,
I am feeling very much a failure nowadays...
I may be hard on myself now ... maybe it is just a phase.
Few real friends have been made, some acquaintances gained-
Career-wise, dithering away uselessly -- about this, am pained.
Sure I could be making a mountain out of a molehill,
But that is because I have a lot of time here at work to kill!
This job that i don't enjoy
The Dream:
Am in a job I thought I would like
And one that would appeal to my psyche.
I thought it would take me places literally and figuratively,
And would enhance my potential positively.
I thought I would do some extensive travel...
The mysteries of shipping I wuld unravel.
From Trainee to President I would rise
Albeit for the success I would pay the price!
Perhaps a few enemies I would make,
And a lot of stress in life i would have to take.
But in the end, I would make it to the top
And be someone to reckon with -- a true daughter of my Pop!
The Reality:
Am in a job that I now actually dislike
And that does some serious damage to my psche.
It has taken me absolutely nowehere
And has chased my high spirits away to...I don't know where!
It has led me to suffer severe stagnation,
And has begun to leave little hope of any salvation.
I have visited places only on a personal level;
More towards home and hobbies my mind has begun to swivel!
From Trainee to Officer I have progressed-
Though in my 'personal achievements' I have sadly regressed,
I am feeling very much a failure nowadays...
I may be hard on myself now ... maybe it is just a phase.
Few real friends have been made, some acquaintances gained-
Career-wise, dithering away uselessly -- about this, am pained.
Sure I could be making a mountain out of a molehill,
But that is because I have a lot of time here at work to kill!
Monday, March 31, 2008
Idle Thoughts
Idle Thought 1: Not that am going to have a tombstone, but I think I might want mine to read: "In hindsight..." It sums up my understanding of most things. All real knowledge about people, events, things, comes 'in hindsight'!
Idle Thought 2: The world would be a better place if we could spend every weekend with our favourite people doing what we like to do best whether it is eating, lazing, partying, chatting or playing games like pictionary...
Idle Thought 3: Giving advice for me is NOT like a piece of cake because I would not want to part with THAT, whereas advice...hey! Need any?:)
As you can see, present status: IDLE
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Road-bummers
This morning at around 9.30 a.m., I met with around 40-50 morons. All in one shot. Yes, they were all driving westward bound on St. Mary's Road. They had formed at least 4 parallel lanes of which 3 were unauthorised. Poor me, going eastward on St. Mary's Road as usual and was suddenly confronted head-on by 4 lanes of vehicles acting like no rules existed.
Bah. Being a lone woman driver and afraid for myself(and not for any nobler reason), I steered clear of expletives but insisted on asking them with angry, wild gestures "WHAT in the world ARE you doing?". At one point, I was quite unnerved because I was the only car facing the 'right' way on my side of the road, while all the rest in front of me were facing me and trying to bully me to go...where, I don't really know. Where was the space? Suddenly I wondered whether this road had been made a one-way overnight or something. I took heart in the fact that there was a possibility I was right, since some vehicles were right behind me.
(Imagine, they had me doubting my rule-abiding senses!)
I tried to nudge through aggressively and am quite surprised how no one bumped or scratched me. Sheer good luck, I tell you.
Then, I finally decided I could not beat them -- the rogues! So, I swung extreme left and managed to get out of that quagmire of morons and shot out of there like a bat out of hell (Hah! always wanted to use that bat expression!).
I spotted a policeman further down and asked him what the heck was going on and whether the road was a one way to which he said nope. So, I was even more indignant and told him to go sort out the chaos. Thankfully, he understood my frustration. (In chennai, you cannot ask for more, usually.)
Mildly satisfied with dispensing a piece of advice to a cop, I belligerently ignored the red light and the waiting motorists whose green signal it was, and swung into a lane leading to my destination,
secure in the knowledge that no one was going to pull me up after what I had been through.
Nobody did.:)
Cheers.
Bah. Being a lone woman driver and afraid for myself(and not for any nobler reason), I steered clear of expletives but insisted on asking them with angry, wild gestures "WHAT in the world ARE you doing?". At one point, I was quite unnerved because I was the only car facing the 'right' way on my side of the road, while all the rest in front of me were facing me and trying to bully me to go...where, I don't really know. Where was the space? Suddenly I wondered whether this road had been made a one-way overnight or something. I took heart in the fact that there was a possibility I was right, since some vehicles were right behind me.
(Imagine, they had me doubting my rule-abiding senses!)
I tried to nudge through aggressively and am quite surprised how no one bumped or scratched me. Sheer good luck, I tell you.
Then, I finally decided I could not beat them -- the rogues! So, I swung extreme left and managed to get out of that quagmire of morons and shot out of there like a bat out of hell (Hah! always wanted to use that bat expression!).
I spotted a policeman further down and asked him what the heck was going on and whether the road was a one way to which he said nope. So, I was even more indignant and told him to go sort out the chaos. Thankfully, he understood my frustration. (In chennai, you cannot ask for more, usually.)
Mildly satisfied with dispensing a piece of advice to a cop, I belligerently ignored the red light and the waiting motorists whose green signal it was, and swung into a lane leading to my destination,
secure in the knowledge that no one was going to pull me up after what I had been through.
Nobody did.:)
Cheers.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Qs and my As
I copied this idea and list of Qs from my newest favourite blog, www.shyamram.blogspot.com. I also love answering questions like this if only for myself... gives me the importance I think I deserve;)
1.)Q. Can you cook?
1.)A. Yes. But dislike cleaning up after myself...in the kitchen.
2.)Q. What was your dream growing up?
2.)A. To fly, become a pilot; which I did but not exactly the way I wanted, since today, am not a ‘professional pilot’.
3.)Q. What talent do you wish you had?
3.)A. Bit of talent in many things, which does not quite cut it. Wish I were better at outdoor activities – inclination and skill-wise too.
4.)Q. Favorite place?
4.)A. My Bedroom
5.)Q. Favorite vegetable?
5.)A. Colocasia or arbi or cheppankazhangu (all mean the same)
6.)Q. What was the last book you read?
6.)A. Why can’t I remember the name? Although do remember story and the author’s name. Very light and vetti (jobless) read.
7.)Q. What zodiac sign are you ?
7.)A. Scorpio but am sure am weirder than most.
8.)Q. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
8.)A. Pierced ears. Tattoos? Ugh.
9.)Q. Worst Habit?
9.)A. Many, am sure… two top the list -- procrastination and nail biting.
10.)Q. If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
10.)A. Only if I know you and like you, or if you are a lost child below 5 years –can’t bear the thought of lost children and what they may come to – I would desperately want to return you to your oh-so-desperate mom.
11.)Q. What is your favorite sport?
11.)A. Have not one but I do like to swim (though I don’t often), play badminton or snooker, if I get the company. Just don’t care for watching sports.
12.)Q. Negative or Optimistic attitude?
12.)A. Mixed. Sometimes this and sometimes that.
13.)Q. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
13.)A. Depends on who you are. But unless you are a gallant, hero-ish kind of person, I would panic big time. Scared of elevators.
14.)Q. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
14.)A. Dad’s death.
15.)Q. Tell me one weird fact about you:
15.)A. Too many. Just one of them, not necessarily the worst, is that I must check if sleeping people (especially children) are breathing normally.
16.)Q. Do have any pets?
16.)A. Not currently
17.)Q. Do u know how to do the macarena?
17.)A. I know how to do ‘a’ Macarena.
18.)Q. What time is it where you are now?
18.)A. 12.15 p.m.
19.)Q. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
19.)A. Neither. Just not very impressed with them unless they are VERY funny.
20.)Q. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be???
20.)A. Size and hair! Oh, only one thing? Then size;) And I can change it but it will take a lot and am not YET up to it.(looks like!)
21.)Q. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
21.)A. Conscience but only if I HAVE to. I don't care to partner much.
22.)Q. What color eyes do you have?
22.)A. Brown
23.)Q. Ever been arrested?
23.)A. No and don’t ever want to be!
24.)Q. Bottle or Draft (draught)?
24.)A. Don’t know the difference except that I do know there is a difference.
25.)Q. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it?
25.)A. Spend some, give away some, save some.
26.)Q. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew?
26.)A. Don’t like the habit at all. Except if am in desperate need of a mouth freshener in which case, strawberry.
27.)Q. What 's your favorite bar to hang at?
27.)A. It’s the people I bother about when it comes to hanging out, not the place.
28.)Q. Do you believe in ghosts?
28.)A. Why?! Is there one here??? Quick, stay close to me and we can try to scare it away together.
29.)Q. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
29.)A. Workout or do yoga and meditation. HA. Who am I kidding? No, I like to read, watch TV, spend time in front of computer.
30.)Q. Do you swear a lot?
30.)A. Yes. And I usually vow to myself to swear less each time after I just finish swearing.
31.)Q. Biggest pet peeve?
31.)A. I don’t get a reasonable amount of space and time to myself.
32.)Q. In one word, how would you describe yourself?
32.)A. Nice (basically).
33.)Q. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
33.)A. No, sorry, you do it yourself and let me know how / where I can read it.
1.)Q. Can you cook?
1.)A. Yes. But dislike cleaning up after myself...in the kitchen.
2.)Q. What was your dream growing up?
2.)A. To fly, become a pilot; which I did but not exactly the way I wanted, since today, am not a ‘professional pilot’.
3.)Q. What talent do you wish you had?
3.)A. Bit of talent in many things, which does not quite cut it. Wish I were better at outdoor activities – inclination and skill-wise too.
4.)Q. Favorite place?
4.)A. My Bedroom
5.)Q. Favorite vegetable?
5.)A. Colocasia or arbi or cheppankazhangu (all mean the same)
6.)Q. What was the last book you read?
6.)A. Why can’t I remember the name? Although do remember story and the author’s name. Very light and vetti (jobless) read.
7.)Q. What zodiac sign are you ?
7.)A. Scorpio but am sure am weirder than most.
8.)Q. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
8.)A. Pierced ears. Tattoos? Ugh.
9.)Q. Worst Habit?
9.)A. Many, am sure… two top the list -- procrastination and nail biting.
10.)Q. If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
10.)A. Only if I know you and like you, or if you are a lost child below 5 years –can’t bear the thought of lost children and what they may come to – I would desperately want to return you to your oh-so-desperate mom.
11.)Q. What is your favorite sport?
11.)A. Have not one but I do like to swim (though I don’t often), play badminton or snooker, if I get the company. Just don’t care for watching sports.
12.)Q. Negative or Optimistic attitude?
12.)A. Mixed. Sometimes this and sometimes that.
13.)Q. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
13.)A. Depends on who you are. But unless you are a gallant, hero-ish kind of person, I would panic big time. Scared of elevators.
14.)Q. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
14.)A. Dad’s death.
15.)Q. Tell me one weird fact about you:
15.)A. Too many. Just one of them, not necessarily the worst, is that I must check if sleeping people (especially children) are breathing normally.
16.)Q. Do have any pets?
16.)A. Not currently
17.)Q. Do u know how to do the macarena?
17.)A. I know how to do ‘a’ Macarena.
18.)Q. What time is it where you are now?
18.)A. 12.15 p.m.
19.)Q. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
19.)A. Neither. Just not very impressed with them unless they are VERY funny.
20.)Q. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be???
20.)A. Size and hair! Oh, only one thing? Then size;) And I can change it but it will take a lot and am not YET up to it.(looks like!)
21.)Q. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
21.)A. Conscience but only if I HAVE to. I don't care to partner much.
22.)Q. What color eyes do you have?
22.)A. Brown
23.)Q. Ever been arrested?
23.)A. No and don’t ever want to be!
24.)Q. Bottle or Draft (draught)?
24.)A. Don’t know the difference except that I do know there is a difference.
25.)Q. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it?
25.)A. Spend some, give away some, save some.
26.)Q. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew?
26.)A. Don’t like the habit at all. Except if am in desperate need of a mouth freshener in which case, strawberry.
27.)Q. What 's your favorite bar to hang at?
27.)A. It’s the people I bother about when it comes to hanging out, not the place.
28.)Q. Do you believe in ghosts?
28.)A. Why?! Is there one here??? Quick, stay close to me and we can try to scare it away together.
29.)Q. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
29.)A. Workout or do yoga and meditation. HA. Who am I kidding? No, I like to read, watch TV, spend time in front of computer.
30.)Q. Do you swear a lot?
30.)A. Yes. And I usually vow to myself to swear less each time after I just finish swearing.
31.)Q. Biggest pet peeve?
31.)A. I don’t get a reasonable amount of space and time to myself.
32.)Q. In one word, how would you describe yourself?
32.)A. Nice (basically).
33.)Q. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
33.)A. No, sorry, you do it yourself and let me know how / where I can read it.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Jolly Walkers
Why in India, at least in Chennai, do walkers do their best not to make eye contact? Ok, they may be complete strangers but one walker will either acknowledge another with a cold stare or furtive glances, or simply by turning away his or her face to avoid any expression.
If someone does decide to overlook these cold-shoulder techniques and smiles at another co-walker, he or she is usually greeted with suspicion -- either a suspicious look or a tentative half-smile which says: SHOULD I be smiling back at you?
I usually appraise a co-walker in the far distance and screw up my eyes in concentration to see if he or she is recognisable. If so, then I quickly think of how to go about saying hi and figure out whether I really want to stop and talk or just pretend to see them in the last moment and quickly say hi, how are you and bye. If I don't know them, so much the better. As I get closer I 'check' him or her out and then decide if I fel like giving him or her more than the one furtive glance (Thiruttu muzhi it is called in Tamil).
'When in Rome...' syndrome, i call it. Don't want to be known as the only whacko who smiles at everyone in sight.
Of course, I need to clarify at this point that I do not really qualify as a 'walker' -- two days does not cut it. But having gone for walks erratically and otherwise for oh so many years, I have observed enough walkers to know better than to smile at co-walkers I don't know.
Mostly cos I hate it when my smile is not returned!
If someone does decide to overlook these cold-shoulder techniques and smiles at another co-walker, he or she is usually greeted with suspicion -- either a suspicious look or a tentative half-smile which says: SHOULD I be smiling back at you?
I usually appraise a co-walker in the far distance and screw up my eyes in concentration to see if he or she is recognisable. If so, then I quickly think of how to go about saying hi and figure out whether I really want to stop and talk or just pretend to see them in the last moment and quickly say hi, how are you and bye. If I don't know them, so much the better. As I get closer I 'check' him or her out and then decide if I fel like giving him or her more than the one furtive glance (Thiruttu muzhi it is called in Tamil).
'When in Rome...' syndrome, i call it. Don't want to be known as the only whacko who smiles at everyone in sight.
Of course, I need to clarify at this point that I do not really qualify as a 'walker' -- two days does not cut it. But having gone for walks erratically and otherwise for oh so many years, I have observed enough walkers to know better than to smile at co-walkers I don't know.
Mostly cos I hate it when my smile is not returned!
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